Sunday, June 22, 2014
My Heart is in Your Hands
Today Mark and I sat down and had a heart to heart. I voiced my concerns about us trying to find a gestational carrier.
First, we were hoping to incur minimal fees for the GC. Unfortunately everyone that has responded to our ad so far is well aware of the going rates and is asking for fees of $25K - $35K, plus medical costs, plus travel expenses, plus clothing and other monthly allowances.
Second, we were hoping to avoid using an agency to avoid their $20K - $25K fees. I am just not comfortable with using someone directly that we do not know. The agency fees cover a lot of things including background, medical, criminal and psychological checks of the intended surrogate. You also then have a knowledgeable third party of help with the medical and legal arrangements. There are too many horror stories out there about surrogates for me to go into this without agency protection.
Third, what if this doesn't work? I am already looking ahead to the possibility of adoption if using a gestational carrier does not work for us. I fear that if we go down this path we will exhaust all funds and any possibility of being able to pursue adoption in the future if needed.
Mark listens to my concerns and sadly agrees that my fears are founded. Unfortunately we are going down a path right now that does not seem like the correct path for us.
Back to the drawing board :(