Thursday, September 25, 2014

Not Off to a Great Start

The doctor called yesterday and moved my appointment from noon to first thing in the morning.  I thought that this would be great so I could get it over with right away and not have to interrupt the middle of the day to go.

In order to get a morning appointment I had to go the Eden Prairie vs. Minnetonka office meaning at LEAST 15 minutes more commute time.  Luckily (for once) traffic cooperated and I was actually on time for my appointment.  Those of you who know me know that I am almost never on time for anything.  I was taking this to be a good sign.

The bad thing about an earlier appointment is that I received my test results by that afternoon so I actually had a chance to read them.  As Mark has often pointed out, less information for me is probably better.  I know too much about the whole fertility game by this point and know what my lab results mean........usually that is not a good thing.  This time is no exception.

My FSH is up to 9.0 from the previous level of 8.6, and my antral follicle count was only 8 compared to 10 the last time.  Can a year make that much difference?

OK.  These results aren't terrible.  I will still respond to the IVF drugs and most likely will have an embryo or two to transfer.  It just really sucks that I already know that this cycle is not going to go as well as the last cycle and the last cycle only resulted in 3 grade 3 and 1 grade 4 embryo (read as unlikely to "take" due to quality).

I already feel defeated.  I have been hopeful that this cycle will go better, that all of the stuff that I have been doing for the past few months will magically make my ovaries work.  Why have I been taking DHEA and $$ of supplements for the past 3 months?  Why have I spent $$$ on weekly acupuncture treatments?  I thought that these were supposed to make my results better, NOT worse.  I guess that these may have been foolhardy hopes and that in the end I cannot fight the fact that I am a 39 year old "poor responder" with few and questionable quality eggs.

I am leaving to go to India already feeling hopeless instead of hopeful.

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