The doctor called yesterday and moved my appointment from noon to first thing in the morning. I thought that this would be great so I could get it over with right away and not have to interrupt the middle of the day to go.
In order to get a morning appointment I had to go the Eden Prairie vs. Minnetonka office meaning at LEAST 15 minutes more commute time. Luckily (for once) traffic cooperated and I was actually on time for my appointment. Those of you who know me know that I am almost never on time for anything. I was taking this to be a good sign.
The bad thing about an earlier appointment is that I received my test results by that afternoon so I actually had a chance to read them. As Mark has often pointed out, less information for me is probably better. I know too much about the whole fertility game by this point and know what my lab results mean........usually that is not a good thing. This time is no exception.
My FSH is up to 9.0 from the previous level of 8.6, and my antral follicle count was only 8 compared to 10 the last time. Can a year make that much difference?
OK. These results aren't terrible. I will still respond to the IVF drugs and most likely will have an embryo or two to transfer. It just really sucks that I already know that this cycle is not going to go as well as the last cycle and the last cycle only resulted in 3 grade 3 and 1 grade 4 embryo (read as unlikely to "take" due to quality).
I already feel defeated. I have been hopeful that this cycle will go better, that all of the stuff that I have been doing for the past few months will magically make my ovaries work. Why have I been taking DHEA and $$ of supplements for the past 3 months? Why have I spent $$$ on weekly acupuncture treatments? I thought that these were supposed to make my results better, NOT worse. I guess that these may have been foolhardy hopes and that in the end I cannot fight the fact that I am a 39 year old "poor responder" with few and questionable quality eggs.
I am leaving to go to India already feeling hopeless instead of hopeful.