Sunday, December 21, 2014

My Heart is Heavy

Today I am sad.  Although I wasn't expecting the last transfer to take, it is still hard news to hear.  Even though you try not to get your hopes up, you do, even just a little bit.  You hope that this time it is going to work, but then it doesn't, and then you are sad.

I keep trying to be hopeful in that we have 4 embryos left....but it is hard.

The RE wasn't exactly overjoyed at their quality - 3 grade 3 and 1 grade 4.  And I don't take his suggestion that we "try again" to try and boost the egg quality as a positive sign.  (We did, and it didn't work).

I have been suggesting to Mark that we have the embryos PGS tested.  That way we KNOW whether or not there are any abnormalities and theoretically whether or not they would "work".  PGS testing has been a topic of discussion at group.  The thought is why keep going through failed transfers and miscarriages?  Why not test the embryos to see if they are good and only transfer the good ones that have better chances?

The problem is that as we get older, less and less are "good".  It is possible that out of our 10 embryos none may be good.

I am trying to put my sadness on hold for a little while and try to get through the holidays.

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