Playing the Waiting Game

This morning we had a check up at the doctor. 

The doc said that it looked like nothing is going with Baby S.  Our GC's cervix has neither dilated or thinned and it looks like Baby S. has not fully dropped.  Her blood pressure is good and she is doing well so it looks like there are no health issues on her part. 

Off to the ultrasound to see how things are going with Baby S. 

The ultrasound revealed that the placenta still looked good and there was plenty of amniotic fluid so no potential issues for Baby S. at this point.

The verdict - Baby S. was good where he is at and we go in next Friday for a recheck.

Our GC was disappointed - she was hoping for an induction next week.  She had been induced a little early with her two children.  I have to admit that I was a little disappointed too - I would like Baby S. here as soon as we can safely have him.

Now we get to play the waiting game......

The Last Supper (as DINKs)

Tonight we went out for a nice romantic Valentine's night dinner.  As we sipped our wine and devoured our steaks a strange thought crossed our minds.....

This could be our last supper.

Well, last supper as DINKs (dual income no kids) anyway.

Baby S is 38 weeks now and could be here any minute.  This really could be our last romantic dinner our for a very, very, very long time.

The thought was sobering to say the least.

Were we ready for all of this?

We both gulped our wine uncomfortably for a moment and sat in silence.

We could tell that the other was deep in thought and seemed to be weighing our options.

After a few moments we both reached out for each other's hand and looked into the other's eyes.

We're ready :) 

Something Traditional for the Nontraditional Family

If you haven't already figured this out, I am a bit of a control freak.  Just a tiny bit of a typical Type A ambitious, rigidly organized, impatient, take on more than I can handle, want other people to get to the point, anxious, high-achieving "workaholic".

Like most Type A's I love lists.  I love making them and I REALLY love checking items off of them.

One of the items on my "getting ready for baby" checklist was to get a baby memory book.

I looked online for a while and found a book that I thought was really cute.  It was gray, had a spot for a picture and a baby footprint on the front.  It was preprinted with pages such as "coming home" and "1st birthday" so it would be easy to fill out an not miss any of the important things and dates.  It was also pretty reasonably priced so I ordered it.

(I also absolutely love online shopping and think that Amazon Prime is pretty much the best thing ever.  I may never actually "go shopping" ever again).

I watch the front porch and see a box from Amazon.  Yay!

I cut open the box and start flipping through the baby book.

But, as I looked through the pages, my glee started to fade in sadness and disappointment.

A very large portion of the book was set aside for my pregnancy memories.  Page after page of my pregnancy memories.  That would be pretty awesome if I had pregnancy memories.

I thought for a moment that I could have our GC fill out those pages with her pregnancy memories..... but that really was not the same thing.  I feared it would just remind me of the pregnancy that I was unable to have and make me sad every time I looked through the book.

I sadly closed the book, put it back in the box, and went on Amazon to get a shipping label for a return. Boo!

Now what was I going to do?  Yes I am fairly creative and can put together some decent vacation Shutterfly books, but I am not "do it yourself" scrapbooker material.  (Which I feared may be my only option).

Now, I know that there are only 1,000 or so surrogate births in the US each year, but surely that is enough that someone before me also sadly flipped through a baby memory book and found a way to make a traditional book for a nontraditional family.

Indeed I was correct.

I googled "surrogacy memory books" and found a web post from an intended mother who found herself in a similar situation.  She worked with a company that makes customizable memory books to have them create a series of insert pages for surrogacy.

Hallelujah!

In addition to a surrogacy insert series they have inserts for IVF, multiples, adoption, foreign adoption, two moms and two dads.

How awesome is that?

Our family that started out in a nontraditional way can still have the traditional memory book.

In case you are interested - here is a link to the company:

http://tesserapublishing.com/

Getting Ready For Baby

Now that we (finally) believe that a baby is definitely coming, we have been furiously working to get ready for said baby.

The nursery is pretty much ready - the furniture is put together and arranged, the walls are decorated, the changing table is stocked complete with a diaper genie, the crib is made with mobile in place, and Baby S even has a fully stocked dresser and closet.  (Mark jokes that Baby S will be better dressed than he is - that may be the case).

Childcare is in place and they have confirmed our start date.

We have found a pediatric practice that is close to home, has night and weekend hours and is accepting new patients.

Decisions have been made regarding cord blood banking and whether or not Baby S will be circumcised.  We have even called insurance to find our when and where the circumcision is covered.

The car seat has been installed and the matching stroller is assembled and already in the trunk - along with a packed hospital and baby bag.

All baby equipment has been registered and checked for recalls.

I have already been in contact with a lactation consultant and have found my nearest La Leche League group.

Pretty much the only thing we need to do is figure out what to do with Baby S once he actually gets here......

In order to start finalizing preparations we went to a baby class today.  This class was sooooooo needed.

After my miscarriages I have been purposefully detached from children - especially babies.  I have become quite adept at avoiding babies when they are brought into the office and always "have a cold" whenever someone wants me to hold their little one.  I have basically spent the last 15 years of my life avoiding children and probably due to this fact, really don't know a lot about them.

So, now that I am (finally) having one of my own I need some crash courses on what to do.

We had trouble finding the room and got to waltz into class a good 5 minutes late.  I felt like everyone was staring intently at my suspiciously absent baby bump (the only baby bump that was missing in the room by the way).  But.....it may have just been that we were late.

It turned out that we all were pretty much in the same boat - that in a very short time we were all bringing a tiny human into the world and that none of us really knew what we were doing.

The class was great - by the end we knew how to give a bath, swaddle, diaper, (hopefully) read our babies subtle signs of being engaged or disengaged, and when to call the doctor (to name just a few of the important things that we learned).

I realize that no baby is the same and that I need to just be flexible and roll with the punches...... but at least now I feel a lot more prepared to do so.

The Uber Baby

We found out today that we are having an Uber Baby.

At every appointment Baby S has been measuring right on track - exactly at the percentile that he should.

Until today.....

Today Baby S is measuring ahead.  And not just a little ahead.  He is on track to be a 10 lber.

Seriously.

I can't say that I am surprised.  Myself and all of my siblings were all between 9 - 10 lbs.  Mark was also not a small baby.  And, they say (again the mythical "they") that baby size is genetic.

Our GC also wasn't completely surprised.  She grows big babies herself.  Her two children were close to 9 lbs and delivered a week early due to their size.

What did surprise me was that all of sudden he is measuring ahead. 

Maybe he went on a binge with the rest of us over the holidays?

In any case, 10 lbs. is pretty big.  We are now estimated that our GC will be induced a week early (like in her first two pregnancies) to try to help keep Baby S. a bit less uber.

Making Milk (sort of)

I would like you to meet my new best friend, the medela pump in style double electric breast pump.  It feels like my best friend in the fact that we spend so much time together - 4 hours if I get all 8 scheduled pumps in.  We are together in thick and thin, even in the middle of the night.  My entire day revolves around trying to get together for 30 minutes, every 2-3 hours, 'round the clock.

Wait....

This sound more like a metaphorical albatross than my best friend.

Oh the joys of pumping.

I started pumping right after Christmas.  It already feels like all I do is pump.....and I have a long ways to go until Baby S. arrives.

The goal is that by starting to pump (and taking a handful of herbs and other supplements twice a day) 8 weeks before our expected due date, that I would be able to breastfeed  Baby S when he arrives.  It is important to note that most women do not reach full supply when inducing lactation and will need to supplement, but more important is that we are able to breastfeed at all.

When I started my inducing lactation journey back in August I was very hopeful.  I had read success stories of some who were able to exclusively breastfeed from inducing lactation.  I was so sure that I would be one of those women....that everything would just work perfectly.

Ha, ha!  Reality just laughed in my face and stomped all over my hopes and dreams. (yet again)

I have no idea why I totally thought that for once my body would work exactly like I wanted it to....especially in something "female" related.  My uterus is less that 1/2 there, my ovaries don't like to produce eggs (and especially not good quality eggs) even with high amounts of hormones, why did I think that my boobs would work?

So if you haven't guessed by now, the process of inducing lactation is not going exactly as I had hoped.  Granted it is still pretty early - I am only 3 weeks in - but the production is LOW.  By low I mean drops.

Not bags or bottles full.....just drops.

Mark has been really great and keeps trying to reassure me that even though it is only drops, it is more and more drops every day.

Too bad babies eat around 25 ounces of milk a day and drops are not going to cut it.

I keep reminding myself that this was never about trying to breastfeed exclusively, that this was always about the experience of breastfeeding.  The experience of being able to nourish my child.  The bonding that breastfeeding helps to create.  The ability to feel a little "normal" in a less than normal pregnancy and birth.

Mark finds it fascinating that me who is a perpetual pessimist was quite the optimist when it came to inducing lactation.  I think that I just wanted it to work so badly, I found a way to convince myself that it would.

And, technically it is working.  I am producing milk.  Maybe not a lot of milk, but milk all the same.

PS - I have been pumping while writing this post :)

Breastfeeding Mothers Have the Right to be "Disgusting"

https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/trump-to-breastfeeding-mom-youre-disgusting-125350815777.html

I usually try to stay away from politics and especially politicians, but I had to comment on this one. 

The actual incident happened in 2011, but just recently came up again the news.  In short, Trump told a mother of a 3-month old that she was "disgusting" for requesting a break at work so that she pump.

While some may find a woman pumping at work "disgusting", it is her right to do so and is protected by law. 


http://www.dol.gov/whd/regs/compliance/whdfs73.htm

http://breastfeedinglaw.com/state-laws/minnesota/