While celebrating the birth of our country, I also spent some time reflecting on how this Independence Day is vastly different than the past few Independence Days.
Julu 4, 2014 - We were in the midst of selecting clinics for surrogacy in India. We had a call with a clinic on the morning of July 4th since it is not a holiday there. We were hopeful that we would be returning to India in about a year's time to collect our baby, maybe even babies....
July 4, 2013 - We were getting ready to start our first IVF cycle. We were hopeful that in about a year's time we would be witnessing the birth of our baby, maybe even babies....
July 4, 2012 - We were in the process of pre-screening for using a gestational carrier. While we were nervous about the prospects of our gestational carrier working out, we were hopeful that in about a year's time, we might be winessing the birth of our bably, maybe even our babies.
July 4, 2011 - We were 6 months into our marriage and starting to talk about our options and starting to research IVF, gestational surrogacy and clinics. We were hopeful that within a couple of years time we might be witnessing the birth of our baby, maybe even our babies.
Flash forward to July 4, 2015......
We are now on our 5th gestational carrier, two of which were in India.
We have had three IVFs - one cancelled due to poor response, one resulting in poor quality embryos, and one in India.
We have transferred 6 embyros in two transfers - one was a BFN, one was a chemical.
We had four frozen embryos left here....we were lucky to have one grade 3 day 5 morula to transfer to our gestational carrier on June 11th.
We have had two positive beta tests. They were positive, but not overwhelmingly so.
Today were are 6 weeks pregnant, but less hopeful that we would be celebrating Independence Day with our maybe baby. We now that it would be only one, not twins like we had riduculously hoped for before.
If we have one, it will be only one.
I had my TL a little more than a year ago when my third child was born via c-section. I was not told ANYTHING about the possible side effects of having this proceedure. Since then I have experienced heavy bleeding lasting sometimes 3 weeks out of the month, weight gain, severe mood swings. Severe cramping, changes to my libido, severe depression accompanied by suicidal thoughts, headaches, migraines, many new symptoms & older issues are now exacerbated. The father of two of my children doesn't want me anymore. I've become too much of a pain in the ass I guess. We don't talk. We don't sleep in the same bed. I think he might really think I am crazy... & maybe I am. I feel crazy a lot of the time.
ReplyDeleteI'm unpredictable. I feel so angry about the whole thing & now what was once a mild fear of doctors has exploded into full on white coat syndrome that causes me to have a panic attack/hypertensive emergency (severe increase in blood pressure) whenever I have to deal with them. I'm not sure what to do... I fear the next time I have to see a doctor I'll have a stroke or a heart attack from the stress & anxiety of it... what do I do? I take my time and keep searching on internet looking for natural healing that how I came across Dr Itua herbal center website and I was so excited when Dr Itua told me to calm down that he will help me with his natural remedy I put my hope on him so I purchase his herbal medicines which was shipped to my address I used it as prescribed guess what? I'm totally healed my cramp pain is gone completely I also used his Anti Bacteria herbal medicines it's works for me very well I want anyone with health problem to contact Dr Itua herbal center for any kind diseases remedies such as Parkinson, Herpes, ALS, MS, Diabetes, Hepatitis, Hiv/Aids,Cancers, Men & Women Infertility, I got his email address drituaherbalcenter@gmail.com he has any kind of herbal remedies for women & men also for our babes. I really miss my Hunni...he's a fantastic father & a good man. He doesn't deserve this. I feel like an empty shell of who I used to be.